Tough time...

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Tough time...

So here we go...

As some of you know, I just came off a hardcore Tren/Test cycle. I have had a "perfect storm" of circumstances lately. I'm not going to start spitting cop outs. At about the same time that I was moving onto a cruise, my doc upped my mental health meds. I've been fucking zombied out lately. I haven't been to the gym in approaching two months. Been fucking getting my stimuli through the same ol destructive means. Been partying my ass off. Been drunk and coked out for the majority of the time. I know it's all my fault and I have no one to blame but myself. I guess I'm just looking for advice or personal experience with said problems. I've since cut off my bad habits. Clean as a whistle. Getting back at it tomorrow. I don't know if this post is more a lesson of mental health combined with steroids, or a lesson in personal shortcomings, but I figured it would at least start a conversation.... feel free to chew my ass full throttle. Peace brothers and sisters...

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I've been down that road too

I've been down that road too many times myself. Instead of chewing you out, im going to congratulate you in catching yourself, being aware enough to stop the shit show before it hit the fan.

I dont know much about psych meds other than they can really mess up things as much as they can fix things. Its tricky business. 

Thanks for reaching out +1 :)

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My meds have defnitely helped

My meds have defnitely helped me. It took me years to find the right one. That being said, every time they fuck with them it fucks with me. Added in dropping a fairly large dose of Tren, I think I wasn't ready for it. It's an impulse for me I guess. I have that white knuckler inside of me that has to get that rage out whether it be with the iron or with the shit. Like I said, it's my fault for resorting to the sludgy bottom of the barrel. I take my knocks. 

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It's especially hard changing

It's especially hard changing meds and doses!!! You're in my prayers man

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Seems you get back up nice

Seems you get back up nice and quick like though! That's the important thing. Just get back to the iron and get back on that track brother man :)

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Tren crash can really suck

Tren crash can really suck too. A friend of mine, back when I first ran tren, said to taper the tren while adding masteron at the end. Continue the mast for 2-3 weeks once you're off the tren; smooth landing for sure

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On a positive note, I have

On a positive note, I have kept 75% of my gains. Still vascular and More shredded than I deserve to be. That negative self thought is a motherfucker

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Whatever the case may be, you

Whatever the case may be, you worked for those gains. So you fucked up for a little bit, you still worked for what u got. What you don't deserve is riding down to the bottom of the barrel, that, my friend is what you don't deserve. You do deserve what you worked for.

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Thanks JD! Thanks for coming

Thanks JD! Thanks for coming here & bringing this out on open forum... if for nothing else for accountability reasons. 

The biggest & hardest battle we fight is the battlefid of the mind & many times I've found for myself when being prescribed antidepressants or antipsychotic meds that they affect mind control as well. It's easy to fall into a path of running from our problems, but we never out run them my friend. We either work to make them better or hinder our efforts to do so. Keep your priorities in order my friend!!  Th road of drugs & alcohol is a very selfish road & it will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay & cost you more than you want to pay. I'm sending you my email & I want you to know that I'm always here to help you my friend. In my ministry, I deal with these circumstances almost daily whither I'm counseling individuals or family of those individuals!

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Thank you my brother

Thank you my brother

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Pm sent 

Pm sent 

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"In the midst of chaos, there

"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity." -Sun Tzu 


Ok... now that you laid everything on the table Squid... what the hell are you going to do about it? 

We got your six JD. You are an important part of this forum.

 

SEMPER FI

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OO-RAH mofo...

OO-RAH mofo...

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I recently read a good saying

I recently read a good saying: it does not matter how many times you fall but how many times you get up and keep moving. Sometimes problems look so big but there is always an opportunity there so sit down, write you goal(s) and make a plan and start doing it now.

Good luck and I hope I was at least somehow helpful.

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I've reiterated that motto to

I've reiterated that motto to both my sons their entire life!!

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You can knock me down and

You can knock me down and watch me bleed.... but when I get back up you better be running. ;)

Life kicks everyone of us in the nuts. None of us are special in the regard. It's what we do about it afterwards that makes us who we are.

If anyone has a recreational drug use problem it is highly advised that you avoid steroids at all cost. Mixing the two is like mixing ammonium nitrate and diesel.... eventually there will be an explosion and most likely it will be your heart. You wont get back up from that guaranteed!

SEMPER FI

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The cartels are a

The cartels are a motherfucker down here. But that's another thing alltogether. I don't want to talk about drugs in an open forum anyway. My bad...

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https://www.google.com/url?sa
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Fuckin A!!!

Fuckin A!!!

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JD, Whatever you have done in

JD, Whatever you have done in the past is done. You can never get that time back. You were just given another lesson to remind you to make the proper decisions so you can look back and be proud. In all honesty, I'm a walking disaster but knowing that and waking up and fighting my Demons is getting easier. Whatever it is you need to do, do it. Lean on us brother. Like SemperFi said to me once. "Strong, We may not have followed the same path but we're going in the same direction"  That was a powerful statement to me.  I don't have a Father or big brothers that teach me how to be a man and the shame is, My fathers alive and I have 4 older Bros. We are Family here and you lean on us till you are ready to walk on your own...

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Good stuff bro!

Good stuff bro!

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JD, did you get my email

JD, did you get my email brother?

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Affirmative! 

Affirmative! 

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You text me or call me

You text me or call me anytime of the day or night!!! Got your 6 bro 

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Back on the grind on Monday.

Back on the grind on Monday. I hit my gym bitches up and they are all about me coming back. Bought me a new pair of Jordan's for motivation. May start on leg day. You better believe I'm going to punish myself a little bit. Pound that iron back into the consciousness. it always comes back around. Besides, summer is just about over, I'm damn sure not gonna miss a good bulk. gonna keep cruising a little bit and then start on an old school deca/test/dbol bulker. Gonna split the deca for a kicker and then a little later as I hit that plateau. Same old shit. Thanks fellas. The wife just cant talk from an anabolic standpoint, I knew I had to reach out to you guys (and gals). 

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Kill it with IRON JD!

Kill it with IRON JD!

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Yippie-ki-yay mother fucker!

Yippie-ki-yay mother fucker!

 

SEMPER FI

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JD

You got this!!!!!!

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JD

Life throws us some shit at times. I know you got this.  I've not been in here a while.  This summer I asked my wife for a Divorce.  We've been battling over that for some time. sharing my house sharing kids.  We are finally getting close to having everything down and filed. she's packing and moving out.  

Then Tuesday I take my 12 yo to his biannual heart checkup for a Bicuspid Aortic Valve. Dr said his heart disease is so extreme he can't do a single contact sport.  Tough for us both since he's an active athlete and spent the last 8 year training wrestling.  he's a national place winner.  I have coached him every year.    Now we are meeting with surgeons to see if he should get a new valve.  mixes great with a divorce.

On top of all that. I am happy, look forward to the future and keep moving.

WE GOT THIS JD!

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Damn Ram... Take care of that

Damn Ram... Take care of that boy...

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Me and mine will be praying

Me and mine will be praying for your entire family ram. I know how important wrestling is to your son.

 

SEMPER FI

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Ram

My heart goes out to you and your family. Stay strong brother, reach out whenever you need to.

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My brother...

JD, you have been on a rollercoster for some time now. Your highs are the highest your lows are well... scary to us watching from the outside. Scary in that I can see this cycle leading to your permanent demise, and brother I, like many here, do not want that. I cut my wrists and ate 50 somas once. I woke up in the hospital with tubes and hoses every where, and after a good ass chewing the doc said " You are a miracle of your own stupidity, you lost enough blood that the somas couldn't shut your system down, and the somas slowed down your heart rate, and lowered your blood pressure enough to keep you from bleeding to death"... Either alone would have killed me! I tell you this because at that mpment I realized I was here for a reason not of my own accord. YOU TOO ARE HERE FOR A REASON. STAY STRONG. WE ARE WITH YOU

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.

.

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Majority of us arent man

Majority of us arent man enough to call yourself out like that, you are honest with yourself and holding you accountable. 

Its all about taking action and the gym/bodybuilding is the one place you can go that starts the building blocks to a new foundation. Mental health is something im highly interested in after I myself developed a gambling problem pissing away 110k in 4 months, refinanced vehicles that were paid off, sold my boat, lost a good woman and nearly lost my home. 

How did I get better, I owned it, went to city gaming board banned myself from casinos, next morning 5am went to gym and it all fell back into place after that. I own a small IT firm and am now bootstrapping a self funded app for mental health and support.

you did the first thing right by owning it now start laying the foundation to be the man you want to be. 

 

JdDaniel01 wrote:

So here we go...

As some of you know, I just came off a hardcore Tren/Test cycle. I have had a "perfect storm" of circumstances lately. I'm not going to start spitting cop outs. At about the same time that I was moving onto a cruise, my doc upped my mental health meds. I've been fucking zombied out lately. I haven't been to the gym in approaching two months. Been fucking getting my stimuli through the same ol destructive means. Been partying my ass off. Been drunk and coked out for the majority of the time. I know it's all my fault and I have no one to blame but myself. I guess I'm just looking for advice or personal experience with said problems. I've since cut off my bad habits. Clean as a whistle. Getting back at it tomorrow. I don't know if this post is more a lesson of mental health combined with steroids, or a lesson in personal shortcomings, but I figured it would at least start a conversation.... feel free to chew my ass full throttle. Peace brothers and sisters...

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That's awesome brother!!

That's awesome brother!!

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It is AWESOME Jar. I read

It is AWESOME Jar. I read that post and just felt better. I love to see natural born maniacs : )  change their ways and hold themselves accountable. 

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Yeah it takes a real man or

Yeah it takes a real man or woman to step & hold themselves accountable & change, & it takes an even bigger one to pull themselves up & turn around to help others do the same!

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+3

+3

The hardest thing to do is admit our own faults. JD is a good man because he's done that! Now it's time to work on them.

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I may still be relatively

I may still be relatively young, but I have been through the meat grinder long enough to know that:

1. I'm only human

2. I fuck up from time to time

3. Theres a lesson to be learned from everything

Realistically speaking, I know that nothing other than the Reaper can stop any of us in this lifetime. I couldnt give two shits about what anyone thinks about me, so if I can put my business out there and possibly help someone (even one person) then I will consider it a win. Mental health doesn't get talked about, and it leaves such a grey area out there. It's not just a veteran thing (even though there are vets dying every day from it). As my man Strong said above, some of us are just naturaly born maniacs. I have white knuckled life and made it a hell of a lot more complicated than it needed to be at times, but I have learned a hell of a lot from it. Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, so I will cut myself off. As I said, originally  just wanted to run things up the flagpole and open the discussion, I didn't even expect it to get the response it did. Thanks for the kind words and i hope the discussion has been helpful.

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Helping others not make the

Helping others not make the same mistakes you have is real man shit BIA!

I wish the best for everyone, but I have a real special place in my heart for fellow vets. Too many are committing suicide ed or finding themselves in prisons. Most of which is due to alcohol or narcotics. Too many vets try to cope with what they've been through and seen by putting it in a box deep down inside, and when that makes everything worse they turn to alcohol and or drugs to cope. Too many of us feel like talking about our issues makes us look and feel weak. I can understand not wanting to talk about it with civilians who have no idea which is why finding fellow vets and a vet counselor is the best course. My door and I can assure you SemperFi's and Jarheads door is always open.

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Thanks JD for sharing. Just

Thanks JD for sharing. Just keep kicking it day by day brother.